My Breast Friend

So Nola and my boobs are involved in a very passionate love-hate relationship. Both boobs are equally committed to Nola, while she has an obvious and shameless preference for the left one.

Now to be honest, my boobs have never been equivalent in size, but now -- with all of this preferential treatment -- lefty is much larger. I've had to sneak the right one on her when she least expects it, otherwise it will leak all over the place (which is another gross post-partum side effect that never really registered with me before it actually started happening.)

To complicate this little love triangle, Nola has been pretty abusive to both boobs. She punches them quite frequently -- especially when we are laying down in the evening -- when I'm a little bit less attentive, and allow the boob to sneak away from her mouth. And this punching thing was something that didn't really concern me until I woke up the other morning, and sure enough there was a little bruise on her favorite boob. At first I figured that she may be punching me harder than I thought, but upon closer inspection, it became clearer that the bruise was a hickey!

Now I've assumed all along -- as any parent would -- that she was an advanced child, but this is going a little bit too far. I don't know if Nick and I should sit down and have "the talk" with Nola at this early stage. It does make me wonder if all of those episodes of "Rock of Love Bus" that I watched when I was pregnant somehow seeped through -- and influenced Nola's aggressive and passionate behavior -- especially towards boobs.

Regardless of where she learned it, I do wonder if my boobs are going to make it through a six months to a year of this tumultuous relationship.